A Longing for Union

Seeing mom's death certificate again (after many days) dropped me to reality again that she was gone. I was at my friend's home not too far from where I live. I went to our parish church's chapel and discoverd it wasn't that I missed her. Instead, I had a powerful longing to unite with both of them. It brought tears amid the pain of separation. My thoughts went beyond the accident sight to the time their bodies arrived at the funeral home. They appeared separated then...their physical selves. This also pained me. I remembered the times I had been with them alone...not together. I had spent the Wednesday prior to the week of their death alone with mother for a day. I drove my truck and she had a time getting in. We would laugh that day and talk about the future and who was sick and who was dying. That was a grand slam day. A homerun in mother/son relationship. I remember the day I accidently opened the door to her bedroom while she was changing clothes. She let out a yell, I slammed the door, and felt I had committed a mortal sin. What did I do wrong? What was it I saw the she deemed forbidden for me to see? That was the transperency of our relationship that did not exist. That was the separation I felt when i imagined them coming from the coroner's office. It was somehow in prayer I saw the role I and my siblings had played that made them mother and dad, husband and wife. Only the Lord Jesus can bring us together now. How I long to unite with them in a way that was never possible on earth. I do not miss them as much as I desire to be with them.