Last night there was a very bad car/truck accident in Bedford. Roads were blocked. Reminded so much of that night in 2007. Hard as I tried, I couldn't help the bad memories and thoughts coming to the surface. Had sort of a panic attack episode. Thinking of those families of the victims and how the violent, sudden deaths of an auto accident throw you into a state of shock. One minute they are there....the next not. How you come into the house for the first time after and everything is just laying out ready for them to come home again. Dad's unfinished crossword puzzle. Mom's laptop sitting on the dining room table with her glasses nearby as if she had just turned it off and would be back later to check her email or play Solitaire. The new license plates propped by the door--Dad's chore for the next day. Leftovers in the fridge. They thought they were coming home. Why wouldn't they?
As I had done so many nights right after they died, I got out the leash and took Greta for a walk. It always comforts me. Got to be moving and enjoying her company or just to take my mind off "things". I called John. I wanted to hear his voice. We talked for a bit.
I still think of them every day and miss them. It does seem that the changes of seasons makes me miss them more. Last Saturday, I sat on the back patio on a nice Spring day. Mom would've been out in the yard weeding or planting flowers or filling the bird feeders. Dad might've been cleaning his golf clubs or helping Mom in some way or mowing the grass or reading the paper. So much of my time was spent on that patio with them. As long as it was warm enough to sit outside, we did--all the way up through Fall.
Goodbye for now. I will be back another day.
Goodbye for now. I will be back another day.
