At Thanksgiving, John came up for dinner. We cooked a turkey in the crock pot again and it turned out fine.
In early December, Susan and I decided to try and make Mom's butter spritz Christmas cookies. She made them every year as far back as I can remember. We got out her old cookie press (the box for the steel discs says 1967!), got the recipe from Judy and gave it a shot. They turned out great!
They looked and tasted just like I remember. I hadn't had them since her last Christmas in 2006. I cried when I ate the first one. These cookies were HER THING. She would make several batches and then guard them and not let anybody eat any! She was saving them for company, she would say. But also, as we learned, you never know when you won't get a good batch. We tried to make a second one and it turned out awful. We made it just the same way--was the dough too warm? Too cold? For whatever reason, the cookies would not come out right. They tasted fine, but kept sticking to the cookie press. I was determined to make one more batch because I wanted to send some to Jeff. I was not going to send him ugly ones! So, we made one more batch and lo and behold, it turned out fine. Who knows? But I understand now why she wouldn't let us have any! We made fun of her, of course, because when Christmas was over, she'd have a bunch of cookies left! :-) Everybody loved those cookies. I hope that now the tradition will carry on. We gave some to John. He told us that he found one of Mom's cookies in a long forgotten tin he had saved. I think he said he saved that cookie!
I got kind of sad on New Year's Eve. Just missing Mom and Dad and the way things used to be.
Things change and life goes on. I know this. But I still miss them so much and I want us to have a big family Christmas like we used to have. Those days are gone. This year it was just me, Susan and John for Christmas dinner. Now Susan's parents are both gone, too. Susan made a ham and it was all very good.
I bought a Christmas Wreath to decorate their graves. John and I went out to Cresthaven on Christmas Day. I did not cry, but it is hard to see their names on the grave markers. It still doesn't seem real to me at times.
Love you Mom and Dad. Miss you.
Susie
