As I mentioned in my last post, Dad was in the army. He was in World War II. He hardly ever talked about it. Just once in awhile he'd say something like he turned 21 on the high seas going to Europe. I remember he used to gross us all out because he wouldn't get a clean plate for dessert. He'd just put it right on top of ketchup or something. He said he got used to that in the army--just eating everything together. He called chipped beef on mashed potatoes "Sh*t on a shingle"...he said he got that from the army, too. And he'd say "Don't sh*t in your mess kit", another WWII phrase which means something like "take care of your stuff because no one else will". Of course, "Hell's fire" and "Well, hell" (said in that unique way) were commonly heard. But he wasn't a hard or vulgar man. This was just the way talked sometimes. I never saw pictures of him in the army until we were going through old photos after he was gone. I guess it wasn't a good memory for him. He was a radio repairman, a Tech 4. This is what his insignia looked like--we found several of these. I think it is the same as a sergeant. He was in the 8th Armored Division, 58th Armored Infantry Battalion, Service Company. I'm not really sure what all that means, but the Service Company was partly made up of "support units" which would cover radio repair.
After the war, he went to Purdue and got his degree in Electrical Engineering. I always wondered if he got interested in that when he was working on radios. We found a letter from an Army buddy who encouraged him to pursue it because he was so talented in that area.

I miss you, Dad. I wish I could see you on the patio swinging a broom like a golf club...or making grilled chicken on your gas grill. I miss you standing on the patio dropping golf balls to check their "bounce". Or the buckets of soapy water with golf clubs in them. Last night, in the proud tradition of Paul Breidenbach, I slung dog poop over the fence. :-) I miss seeing you sitting in the patio chair working your crossword puzzles. I guess I've been spending more time outside and missing you there. I kept a golf ball (out of the zillions that we found) and put it in the cabinet on the back porch where you used to keep them. I like seeing it there.

Love,
Susie

This grief thing goes in cycles. Although it has been over a year, I still grieve. Some of the heaviness is gone, but I still think of them daily and miss them. Today, for some reason, I was thinking of how Dad called the dogs "Coon". If you heard him do it, you know just how that sounded. He said it kind of strangely. All the dogs were Dachshunds, not coon dogs, but for some reason, they still got called "Coon". Even, "Coon's a good doggie" and stuff like that. He'd call them by their names, too, but a lot of the time it was just "Coon". It was just this thing he did. I was trying to remember if he ever called Greta that. Maybe. She wasn't over there very much since we just got her in December 2006. But Sophie--she was called that a lot! Or he would call her "Soapie". And Heidi and Penny--they were called that, too. He loved the dogs. He really did. He would carry Sophie outside and hold her so that her face was next to his cheek and he'd be talking to her and telling her she was a good doggie. She would follow him all the way up to the back when he took out the trash. She loved going with him.

I was just telling some people at work about when Heidi (1977-1990) had her back problems. Her back legs were becoming paralyzed and she was in a lot of pain. She had a disk disease. I was at IU and I remember when they called me and told me the options were to put her down or take her to Purdue for surgery. Well, immediately I thought--they are going to put her to sleep because there is NO way Dad will pay for surgery (at that time in 1984 it was $400). To my surprise, they decided to take her to Purdue! I will never forget when Dad picked me up after my last final exam in December to go pick her up. We drove to Lafayette and brought her home. I rode with her in the back seat. She was a sick little dog for a while, but she pulled through and did fine for several years. But the thing was--Dad was a softie. Whether it was because he knew it would upset me to lose her, or whether he didn't want to lose her himself, or a little of both--I don't know. But Mom and Dad took her up there and Dad and I went and brought her home. There is another funny story with this...when we brought her home, she was sick and had diarrhea. So Mom was trying to keep her confined to the bathroom at night. One morning I was upstairs and I saw Mom trying to step over this board to get into the bathroom--here she is in her robe and slippers--and she steps in poo and slips and falls. It isn't funny she fell, but she got poo all over her robe and she was not happy! I think there may have been curse words uttered! (She didn't curse very often--not like Dad, whose every other word was "hell" or "damn"--he was in the army, after all.) Anyway, I was standing at the top of the stairs and it was all I could do to not laugh. That would have REALLY made her mad!

I wish they could've known Greta and met Fritzi. I know they would've liked them a lot. Not sure what Mom would've done with Fritzi--I'm sure after "Betty Boot Camp", Fritzi would mind a lot better!

Love you Mom and Dad.

Susie

I have not written in a long time. But it doesn't mean I don't think of Mom and Dad every single day. Today I was trying to find a picture on my computer and of course, I ran across several pictures of Mom and Dad. The tears came. Then I just keep looking at them and looking at them and missing them even more. Time goes by and sometimes I try to trick myself into thinking it's just like they are still alive--just living somewhere else. Then it hits me--no, they are dead.
But John always says they are still alive--just living in another "world". They are near. We just can't be with them anymore in physical form. This gives me some comfort.

Susan and I visited John in Jasper on Easter. On the way back we had this crazy snow storm! Big flakes. Kind of freaked us out a little--esp. since it was on the road of the accident. I did OK going down. On the way back, I cried when we passed the spot where it happened.

Mom's birthday was March 29th. She would have been 79 this year. I visited her grave site and "talked" to her for awhile. Sometimes, I still cannot believe she is gone.

We had some water problems in the basement. I don't remember them having huge water problems, but we had quite a bit. It wasn't standing water (at least by the time we found it), but it was "squishy". This is our new carpet we just put down last fall. :-( We might try sealing the cracks on the floor in the back room and putting DryLock on the block parts of the walls. We will have Sean Taylor come back and clean it when the rainy season is over. We got an estimate on a major waterproofing procedure and it was $6900.00. Too high for us right now. Especially, when we still have a house in Oolitic. It isn't even on the market yet. Hopefully, soon. We need to empty it and then have some work done and clean it.

Life on I St. goes on. Sometimes I miss them terribly and think, maybe I shouldn't live here surrounded by all their stuff. I see them in just about everything I do. But then, I couldn't NOT live here. Not right now. I need to be here. It makes me feel closer to them in some ways.

I think we only lost one Azalea bush from last summer's drought. It looks like the rest of Mom's landscaping is coming back--even the dogwood trees that looked so bad. Not sure about all of it yet, though. I think there are a few in front that are in question.

My niece, Jonna, is pregnant again! Mom and Dad barley knew Maggie, but they did get to see her. Mom would be excited to have another great-grandchild on the way.

Last night I paid my taxes. One of Dad's IRA's seemed to be a problem and we had to pay taxes on it. That was a lot. I guess the rest of their investments were different for some reason. Anyway, it was a LOT. I hope I never have to pay that much money again. It was their money to start with, but still. It makes you kind sick to have to pay that much in taxes. But that is done. The last big thing, now, is selling the house in Oolitic. Maybe when that is done, my life can stabilize a bit. Maybe some closure. I don't know. It seems there are these hurdles to get over and then maybe life can get back to normal--or the "new" normal. My life will never again be the same.

Still miss you, Mom and Dad.

Love,

Susie